Today I was travelling in an auto from my home to the office and it had been long since I had interacted with people out of my own circle. I had isolated myself due to many factors. Out of nowhere I just had a thought, why not engage myself in talks with him, and that way I may also feel better.
Due to lot of traffic in the route that he was going to take, I suggested him it will be better if he takes some shortcut routes and I will guide him throughout. Then he started sharing lots of old stories, like, “how this city was 10 years back, he was able to buy a plot here but now, look at the rates, cant even think of settling here anymore, once I make enough money, I am just planning to move of the city.”
And he was sharing multiple experiences with the passengers that he carried in his auto, very few were sweet and many were judgemental, arrogant, ignorant, rude and not treating him with respect, I genuinely felt bad for him because its always the experiences that moulds and shapes a person. Good experiences makes a better, loving human and bad experiences makes selfish, self-oriented human.
So now due to his bad experiences, he never initiates a conversation or speaks about anything else apart from asking the OTP and then payment status. “Today since I spoke to him in a calm and gentle way, he is sharing,” he said.
At this point of the conversation is when I realised why I am going through loneliness and experiencing extreme emotional breakdown. It is not that I am not independent both finally and emotionally, and it is definitely not about being idle and not having enough work, it is more about not having someone who is ready to just listen to my version of stories without being judgemental.
Most importantly, I also realised that you can have best friends for life, etc, etc, people in your life at certain phase, but trust me, everyone gets busy at some point or the other and if you are the one who is married last in your friends group or among your cousins, then you are going to have the worst time. Because people who are built to be involved socially and are extroverts, they simply cannot be happy when they are alone, they need people around who do not judge, you basically need a space of your own at the same time, you also need too many people around you, it is kind of complicated, I know, but, that is how it works.
In simple words, if you get a partner and a group of friends, who are not being judgemental, and of course a family who is also genuinely being nice to you, trust me, your life is sorted.
But, nothing is perfect in this world, you may not get everything that I mentioned at every phase of your life. You need to learn to be happy with your own company and comfort. Thats when you wont bother about any other human in this world, but when I started to learn to do everything by myself, I started to hate the others in my life, I do not have an answer to this thought of mine at this point of time, in my life. I will write a blog on this, later sometime, once I get an answer to this.
Anyways, after all these thoughts running in my head, now this auto person tells something that will definitely trigger anyone who is in support of feminism.
Out of nowhere, suddenly after giving a good pause between our conversations, he says, “see ma’am, look at the women now, they don’t even know to dress properly, can’t they just wear something decent , go to office, work and come back home, they are spoiling our culture.” Here he is referring to women who are simply wearing jeans and a decent top, standing and waiting for the bus. I am wearing chudidar today so he could say that, but usually I wear jeans and tops, I am imagining what all judgemental thoughts he would be having on me as well.
And honestly, I was scared for my safety, because we do not know what triggers a man’s ego and how would they react if I say anything that is not in favour or aligns well with their thoughts. So I choose to be quiet at that moment and I didn’t speak back anything. He also went calm, maybe he understood that I didn’t like what he said, but when you think about these men’s thoughts, he was looking so decent and nice, but just look at his thought process and sick mentality.
And, why do women always has to carry the burden of carrying the culture forward? what is culture according to society? So men carrying a sick mentality is not called as being cultureless? Does only women’s attire matter? Thoughts, emotions, nothing matters?
I hope India heals soon!
Dear Reader,
Hope you had a great read and you could connect to this blog, kindly subscribe and follow my website for more such realistic experiences and thoughts.
#bloomsknifted #feminism #autoride #bangaloreautoride #bangalorecity #cultureshock #womenculture #culturelesswomen #culture #indianwomen #manego #patriarchy #menaround